Understanding growth.

I have felt myself changing since this time last year, and I know others have seen it too.  My freedom in myself, my strength, my self esteem, my oneness with the Lord.  Through hurt I decided to chase after godliness and the life I was called to create. I've had to restart and refind myself.  For the first time ever I found myself truly lonely, and i've had to work through that and adjust how I view the world and other's hearts, in accordance with a greater understanding. Then I have felt the love of sincere people. It's been easier to pursue the Lord, and more enjoyable.  My affections have naturally fallen on him.

But my enjoyment has been limited by the niggling voice of the past.  Because I've deeply known the battle between spirit and flesh and the crushing knowledge that life on this earth is a dirty battle with sin. And now I shy away from embracing my part in the battle because I know there have been times that I have walked away.

But this isn't true to the story of the bible.  Never does the Lord define people by what they did yesterday or two years ago because he urges that we simply turn away and walk in newness of life. I am finally grasping the obvious, that growth takes us from a lower position and celebrates the beauty of moving forward. Growth is not hypocritical because we were once weak, rather it is powerful because we now find ourselves strong.

Grace restores me and carries me forward and it does not dismiss my battles. Everything I think and do can be used for His glory and to equip my ministry, should I let Him.  Grace is for me, today, be it in my weakness or my growth.