There is no denying that I have big feet. My Momma used to console me with the word 'proportionate'...which I just took to mean that I am giant too. Many a time, in the weeks just before school started I would fight back tears when the 16th shoe shop told me they didn't carry my size. And of course I would eventually find a pair but I had cute friends with cute shoes and I always wished away the first day when the 'new shoes, new bag buzz' would die down.
So today granted its a little easier to find shoes my size, but still im an expert at figuring out which size 8s will give enough to fit a size 9 foot. Well today I misjudged and had a long and painful walk to church. I was late (of course) so by myself and I couldn't help but think...church is SO far away. I have been making that journey for 19 years and church hasn't moved but today I wanted to take of my shoes and return to bed. This is for two reasons:
1. Worship makes me confront sin. I am completely unequipped to even grasp the ugliness and repetitiveness of my rebellion so quite frankly i'd rather avoid it altogether.
2. I'm frustrated with God. I'm frustrated that I am home with nothing to do, I'm frustrated that i'm moving to Ireland which is the opposite direction to my heart and I am frustrated that the Lord's plans for me are perfect so I can't really be frustrated at all.
But of course I made it to church and my feet will recover, and I was reminded of the beauty of the bride. And though I am frustrated I am far from miserable and I am excited to be a student in Belfast. I can feel the Lord calling me into the wilderness so he can sing his love songs over me once again.
"Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her." Hosea 2:14
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