"Don't dwell in the plans of your future over the truths I have written on your heart today."

My future: laying down my future to the Lord has always been a struggle for me. The last year or so has been a lot about the Lord teaching me that I don't need a back up to his plans. This has had huge implications, especially on the way I approached school work, as the holy spirit convicted me that I needed to lay down my grades and that constant striving to be 'well qualified' for life, just in case I ever needed a plan B.  Or even coming to Texas, the Lord convicted me that I needed to close down my extra bank account because I was using it as a safety net instead of trusting in his providence.  In essence the Lord has been stripping the plans I have for myself away to show me that I need to put all my eggs in one basket: HIS perfect will for my life.

The Lord has a habit of casually filling me in on promises for my future, which can be awesome and exciting but then at the same time I have to stop my mind going into overtime as to how he is going to work these things out.   Now when I get a pen in my hand, there's no telling what the Lord is going to speak to me so when I looked down at my booklet in bible study today to see i'd written, "Luce stop trying to build a monument out of my plans because I will MAKE you lay them down," I really had to stop for a second.  I realised I have been turning the Lord's plans into my own plans, as if somehow he needed ME to make them happen?!

Galatians 3:3 "Are you so foolish?  After beginning with the Spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort?"

The Lord is showing me that I am at risk of neglecting the heart he has given me today and the relationships he has put in my life right now out of fear that I might compromise his plans for my future.  I had not been able to see the irrationality of my fear.  The Lord does not set himself up against himself; the truths the Lord is speaking to me now CANNOT contradict the truths he speaks over my future.

So today is a call for me to lay everything back down, to stop loving independence, to stop loving perfection and to be still in the presence of my maker.

Beautiful feet

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.  When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me" 1 Corinthians 13:11

There's something captivating about studying the word and singing songs proclaiming Christ as the 'worthy lamb' alongside those that society has proclaimed worthless. Today we headed downtown to see if there were any opportunities for us to serve at the 'beautiful feet ministry' for homeless people.  Straight away the Lord forced me to step up, I went to shake a mans hand (which is bizarre for me to initiate anyway, being an uptight Brit and all) and it wasn't until mid handshake that I realised he had a stump where he had lost one of his fingers, and just as I'm about to start freaking out in my head I'm ushered into the store room to start organizing donations and my attention is demanded elsewhere.  It may sound simple but that's when I realised that as a child of God I am called to be different: different to my shallow instincts and different to the world. At Glorrietta Collegiate week, the speaker spoke a lot about how in order for righteousness to become our true nature we must UPROOT our sin nature to allow good fruit to grow.  I can definitely feel the Lord digging up the roots of my flesh and beginning to slowly replace them with a heart after his that I might "put my childish ways behind me."  Chelsea White quoted this the other day and it stuck with me, 

'The woman who is busy helping the woman below her is too busy to envy the woman above her'

and I think there is great truth in that... we can read books and go to seminars on creating our personal theology but it is not until we go out of our way to "preach good news to the poor..bind up the broken hearted... and proclaim freedom for the captives" that the Lord can fully instill his truth in our thinking and his compassion in our hearts.  For example I've been thinking a lot lately about the value I put on my own life and weather I really would be willing to die for the kingdom, it took a lot of surrender to answer that yes, but its a whole other reality when you are in a situation where you wouldn't be able to protect yourself.  And when Christ whispers 'you are safe' you realise that HAS to be enough...whatever 'safe' might mean to a man crucified at 33 haha.  I'm not really worried that any of these homeless men or women will kill me but I AM realising that for our feet to be beautiful we must go, and that true theology lies in the serving of the Lord.

Perspective in a miracle free zone.

I read this quote the other day,

"Dear God, forgive me for thinking too highly of myself.  Dear God, forgive me for thinking too lowly of myself.  Dear God, forgive me for thinking of myself too much."

and goodness, this is true of me so much of the time...why, when Christ's invitation to follow requires us to 'pick up our cross' is my prayer life so obsessed with my own happiness?  The Lord had to remind me again today that this year is not about me creating a trophy of good deeds for myself and that my time and skills aren't actually mine to delegate... but that regardless of what happens I need to be SATISFIED in the knowledge that I'm where the Lord wants me right now. This is a challenge to guard my attitude and my tongue...

"I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full"

But I also think that in order for our opinion of ourselves to be too great, our opinion of God must have become too small. Today I read in a study that I've been doing for the last few weeks about how the author had been praying with his wife that their house would sell, he then went to pray with his two daughters before bed and the 4 year old prayed "I pray for all the people in the world that they have food and don't get burned by hot lava."  So he thought that was cute and made note to tell his wife, when he was suddenly convicted by the Lord that when he prayed his prayer that the house would sell, the angels were saying to each other "what a cute prayer...can God sell his house...thats precious" but when the 4-year old prayed the entire heavenly host poised themselves ready for God's word to be put into action, "Get food to the people in greatest need through the children of God!  Redirect that lava flow in Hawaii!  Get ready to move!."  He basically went on to challenge whether we are praying God-sized prayers for things that only God can do, or are we just asking God to fix the things in our life that make us uncomfortable.

'The Irresistible Revolution' talks about how in our western lives we often isolate ourselves from miracles and then complain that we aren't seeing God move.  For example if we are hungry we go to the supermarket, if we are sick we go get a prescription from the doctors, and so on.  As a result we search for alternative meanings to scripture, for example what if when we prayed "give us this day our daily bread" we really were on our knees, relying on the Lord to provide the food for that day. Its like David said at bible study last night, if we believe God made the world by speaking it into existence then the rest becomes a piece of cake.

John 3:30 "He must become greater, I must become less"

Top 10 differences between life in the UK and USA

Today I figured I'd fill you in on the less profound parts of being thousands of miles away from home... in the schools we go into, the kids often ask us if it's different in England and in what way...I never really know what to say so I normally just reply "well its colder" which lets be honest, they probably already knew, so here I am sitting down and thinking about the top 10 difference between life in the USA and England...

1. people drive a lot more...everywhere.  I used to think this was laziness until I experienced living in this heat first hand as well as the fact that everything is way more spread out...so I can now say its definitely NOT laziness.  Although I did go for my first jog here this morning when Jared told me I was lazy for still being in bed at 9am (not that I was proving myself or anything...)
2. The sky here is BEAUTIFUL at all times, but especially in the evening.  The Lord has definitely been speaking to me about his awesomeness through just the beauty of the sky.  Looking up and realising that the one who made this is jealous for me and my heart...man it just blows my mind.
3.Hospitality is a big deal here. Its not forced, people just invest in each other more and are way more generous which has been super challenging.  Not just with money but the way the adults have invested in us and the youth is really huge. Im certainly not short of role models out here :)
4.  Food: different food, more food, gross food... we went to the middle school to hang out with some of the youth there at lunch today and one of the girls there was eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a little tub of apple mush and some super spicy crisps/chips that like die your hands red, it made me miss my really beautiful school dinners.
5.  Football now means 'American football' to us; we like to think of ourselves as 'personal cheerleaders' as we have been attending everyone's football and volleyball games... and of course our favourite is the weekly pep rally which fully lives up to our highschool musical expectations
6.  Girls like to wear massive bows in their hair... which Im yet to partake in (I think my inner feminist refuses to let me look like a present). But Holly and I have made a team S.W.I.T (Southern Women In Training) so by the time I leave I should be a true woman and have awesome wife potential haha.
7.  Boys are way more chivalrous with opening doors, carrying things, paying for stuff.
8. There are really nasty insects everywhere and the spiders BITE...
9.  People here really love their country and all things American
10. Not many people have a lot of love for Obama </3... political debates are a lot of fun, thats not even sarcastic, its really interesting to hear why people have the views they do and seeing we share the same faith but yet have completely different political ideologies

Why do we say that we're blessed?

Lecrae (the great theologian ;)) once wrote,

"How do I gauge success,Why do I say I'm blessed, Huh, Is it the car that I drive or the place that I rest or the way that I dress?"

I love living in the bible belt, it's like a breath of fresh air for the Lords presence to be so acknowledged in everyday life, just last night eating with Del and Holly, our waiter said goodbye with "God bless" and gave us a 'Jesus pen' to write the receipt haha ... that just doesn't happen in England.  Obviously this has its frustrations and disadvantages because I guess I'm still pretty naive to 'cultural Christianity'..so I'm still prone to be shocked and I've certainly never been so thankful for the gift of discernment.  But I know that the Lord is using living in a Christian home for the first time in massive ways in my heart right now.  I didn't realise how much it would affect me having a  man I can call Dad, who leads the house in blessing the food, who I know is praying for me and who NEVER stops telling me he loves me.  Not that Ronnie is in any way a replacement of my Dad, I am so thankful for my Dad and all that he does for me... its just cool to see how the Lord is making sure I don't miss out, by providing an example of  a godly father and a standard that I don't want to compromise in my own husband.

But anyway, back to the song, being here I hear so many things classified as God's "blessings" and this has been a challenge to better acknowledge the Lord's hand in my life in the small things, but also it has got me thinking whether we make choices for our own selfish gain and then justify them by sealing them with "isn't the Lord good?"  For example, we are 'provided' with more hours at work so we can buy another car, which of course makes life more comfortable...and this becomes the perfect example of God's providence: but is this what the Lord really wants accredited to his perfect name?  Or even, one of my girls had a shop assistant reduce a dress for to the perfect price for her...is this a reason to say we are blessed...or does the Lord in his greatness see us throwing away $40 dollars on a 'cute dress' whilst his other children are starving for the sake of not being able to afford a 10p dinner? This is something I can't wash my hands of: I'm just as guilty as the next 'privileged' Christian, but something the Holy Spirit is relentless in convicting me of; probably just waiting for me to actually do something about it....

Oh and my mum gave away my fish....

The way of the Lord ALWAYS leads to unity

"Too often, Christians are all about brotherly love until somebody slips up.  Then it's like they're dead to us.  There's no place for them in our pews or in our prayers.  We abandon them at precisely the time they most need us.  Guess what happens?  Just as Paul suggests, people do become discouraged.  They aren't able to recover." Boom.  I haven't been able to get this out of my head since I read it the other day (in what turns out to be a pretty sketchy book actually.)  I'm realising that as Christian's we create a culture of perfectionism that we impress on our brothers and sisters and in doing so bind ourselves by the very same law.  The result: the scandalous breakdowns of people we thought were 'so godly' and the inability to share our struggles fully for fear of not looking 'together' enough.  I know for me its one thing to admit my struggles to the Lord, but when he then tells me I need to share it with Holly its a WHOLE other level of repentance.

So when I find myself guilty of this fickle 'brotherly love' I realize the need to go back to the classic 1 Corinthians 13 and remember that love "does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth." I do not want those who's company the Lord has blessed me with to fear I will reject them when they stray and nor do I want to bind myself to an impossible standard of perfection and self-preservation.  I guess I'm just learning the fullness of GRACE and how it must impact the way I live my life.

On a more lighthearted note, I just went to my first baseball game, drove in America for the first time had the joy of coming home to a bestfriend with a tub of Ben and Jerrys and an episode of outnumbered. Lifeisgood.

‎'Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.' Mother Teresa ♥

....I'm hoping the first blog entry is the most intimidating... I figure it probably is.  But I can feel this is something I am going to enjoy, for me writing is like coming home at the end of a long day, journalling is my way of sorting through the day with the Lord but (thankfully) nobody reads my journal so I guess that's where blogging comes in?! I could try and introduce myself in a few sentences but I wouldn't know how so I'm just going to get straight stuck in with the day to day and hope you can figure the rest out as we go along....

'Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.'  Mother Teresa ♥.  The title of this post and my current facebook status, pretty much summaries what the Lord is challenging me with right now.  I've had to take a humbling look at myself and realise that when I decided to take a gap year to serve the Lord in Texas, I was praying "Lord, Im willing to serve you in whatever way," in ignorance of how what seemed completely selfless was intended for my own glory. What I meant by "in whatever way" I envisioned as nurturing neglected Hispanic children and feeding the homeless so when I found myself sharpening pencils in an elementary school and alphabetizing forms yesterday I couldn't help but ask "Lord, surely this isn't how you want to use me?." Sure enough, the Lord was quick to shed some light on the great plans I had created for myself...and that my idea of humility was making a humble name for...well....me.  So here I am, spending the start of my gap year doing nothing of much significance but also knowing that the Lord demands obedience in the small things before he entrusts us with the great. Oh and could it be that the Lord is teaching me a little patience? haha