The OTHER love story.

It was just a fling of summer adventures in England; late nights, giggles and charming my families affections.

It grew with the switching back and forth over the summers, I stayed with her in Texas, she came back to England.

It became sisterhood when she moved in with my family for a year.  We became partners in crime; forever in trouble for staying up too late, sleeping in the same bed, making too much noise...or too much mess. Sharing secrets, winding each other up.  We had a special way of making coffee, a constant stream of little notes, we put our names together: Meredith + Lucy = Mercy. We traveled together, wept together, danced in the rain and wore each others clothes.  We were accountability partners and every night we prayed together.

Then she moved home...and I moved there too.  We fell out, we missed each other.  We fell back together.  Trips to the lake, roadtrips, lunch dates more cups of tea. Visiting her at Uni, boyfriends, break ups, tears and laughter.

I came home and started a life in N.Ireland, came back to Texas visit.  Waffle house, life talks, matching mugs... our boyfriends living together. Us missing living together.

Long distance sisterhood, letters and packages.  Texts and skype calls.  Tears and joys shared, break ups and growth. Always missing each other.

And now she is getting married.  The first of my sisters.  I have to hand over her snuggles and kisses and secrets to somebody else. It's weird and it's lovely and she is in good care.  Always a sister I chose for myself, part of my family and part of my heart.  So many things she introduced me to, or brought out in me, a thousand ways she has helped me to grow.

So in a few days I'm skipping class to fly thousands of miles to be there to see Chad and Meredith get hitched!!!  Here's to the next season, with a reflection on the last. "Mercy is splendiferous." 

 p.s. I love you.

Questions I have asked God this week.

I am, by personality, a thinker.  This runs into every area of my life and I am not unfamiliar with the advice, "Lucy. I think you might be over thinking this..." 

Studying theology is therefore deeply satisfying for me, but also a great source of frustration.  This week has been a headache because of two burning questions that I can not seem to resolve.

Firstly, "God, why am I not a Muslim?"

This may seem a strange thing to ask, but the issue was raised in class as we studied pluralism, inclusivism and exclusivism.

 Do all religions worship the same God?   It has been suggested that the religions all emerged at a similar time because God was revealed and then interpreted differently in different cultural contexts; forming the different world religions.  I was shocked to hear that some Christians refer to God as 'Allah' when praying because they believe both are the same.

Or should I approach my religion as separate but true only in that it is right for me? Whereas Buddhism may also be true because it is right for my friend.  Must I simply respect their beliefs and not seek to convert them to my thinking?

If the above are incorrect then why do I get to assume the superior religion? Because I have experienced God? Because Christianity has a Holy Book that tells me so? Would these arguments stand against the testimony of a 20 year old girl of another religion?

And so my mind echoes the question that has been put to me before, If I was born in the Middle East with a Muslim mother, would I not be Muslim too?

Secondly, "God, since when did you approve of Genocide?"

This was raised by an essay on the conquests of Joshua where I have anguished over finding a conclusion.  The arguments available follow that the story is either historically true or a myth. If it is true then God divinely sanctioned and therefore approved of the total destruction of an indigenous people in Canaan. But if it is a myth, which archaeological contradictions would seem to agree with, then my whole viewpoint of the bible must open up and change.  Tempting though it is to dismiss the moral dilemmas raised and understand it all to be story, the opportunity to recreate an idea of God's behaviour that suits the ethics of today's society does not sit well with me.  

I am therefore exposed to the issue of an apparent inconsistency with the loving and compassionate God of life I think I know.  i've always known the Old Testament is violent but what I once pushed to the back of my mind now seems unavoidable. I read the other day the suggestion that those who say they love the bible, probably haven't read it all. Is this true, am I unable to love it all?

Stopping for a moment to count my blessings.

This week I have been given a good glimpse of God.  Not so much directly from him but through the reflection of his beauty, enabled by his grace.

I have seen him alive in the people I have spent time with. Specifically in my new church family, where my heart has been softened by people remembering my name, inviting me out and delighting in sharing in my life. I have overheard people praying for me, and I have been given the opportunity to share about my home.

Also in my bible college friends; the security of their love and the testimony of their faith.  This week I have seen friends be bruised by life yet faithfully cling to the love of the Lord, allowing us to find laughter amongst their tears. I've had family time over games nights and shared meals.  And together we have basked in frustration at the trauma of having to actually read over reading week!

I have been shown God in his creation. I was whisked off on a girls weekend to Carlingford just across the border into Ireland.  It was a retreat of girl talks into the early hours of the morning, lie ins, walking adventures, board games, and much laughter.  How sweet it was to get to know those girls and their enjoyment of life.  But also how clearly I could gain perspective when faced with the beauty of that place.  Views God had created out of the extravagance of his nature, no detail idly overlooked; for no other purpose but the display of his glory.

"If they keep quiet the stones will cry out."

And yet again exploring the North Coast...

This week I have also been given a glimpse of myself.  Especially today. I have moaned over slow computers, and requirements of my course.  I wanted to cry at having to walk an extra 10 minutes on the way to Tesco because I forgot my purse. I have been impatient with others and envious of their blessings. Worse, I have been impatient with God, demanding a fresh and exciting revelation.

How far I am from his perfection and how quickly I let go of who he is. This week has been a gift wrapped in grace yet like an ungrateful child I have quickly become unsatisfied and demand more. So should I now strive to replicate his awesome perfection? Perhaps  not. But can I stop for a minute to count my blessings? Well that's what this post is about.